ANZ bank are bastards

it’s me waiting at ANZ, one of the times they insisted the branch could fix this, so I waited there for 6 hours. twice.

Multiple times over the last few years, someone unknown to me has applied for credit, credit cards, insurance, and other products with ANZ bank.

Because ANZ appears to have extremely poor ICT systems, this means that—while they’ve not actually issued me a credit card—they have repeatedly placed false information on my credit file, including but not limited to, such things as:

  • that I live at “Pokemon St
  • that I live at my employer’s address
  • that I was married (before I was actually married)
  • that my name or address has a bunch of absurd words (i.e. “Magikarp Drive“…Pokemon names) in it
  • that I live at ANZ corporate HQ in Melbourne
  • that I’m employed as a butcher
  • that my drivers license (I don’t drive at all) is 123456 or 90210 (the Beverley Hills zip code…)

… and many, many others.

All on top of the actual credit enquiry for the credit in question. They’ve also issued actual insurance for houses and cars that I don’t own, with verifiably false information attached.

They’ve also shown me screenshots and PDFs of their internal systems, perhaps indicating that they don’t see anything suspicious (“CLEAR”) with the fact that someone was applying for join account/supplementary credit card with their own CEO, Shayne Elliott:

What a moron

Or a nice insured car, together with their CEO:

Bloody Shayne Elliott

Naturally, this car is apparently garaged at a duplicate of my office, but in Sydney (instead of Hobart, same address otherwise), and is a Ford Fiesta with the verifiably false numberplate of TAS12356:

Look at this bullshit

They also happily insured my employer’s office, as if it was my holiday house (?):

our office was built in ~1830, by the way, and is made of sandstone

Most of the information, other than my first and last name, has been verifiably and entirely incorrect. Yet ANZ persists in placing the information on my credit files with the credit reporting bodies.

ANZs official response to this, including via several AFCA (ombudsman) complaints, is that I must place a ban on the credit files via the CRBs. I have done this, several times, but it’s not a viable solution. Here’s why:

  • placing a ban requires me to compile evidence and, often, call or email 1-3 CRBs, spending 2-6 hours of information gathering and phone time
  • a ban can only last 21 days before it must be renewed, and the renewal must be requested before 10 days of it expiring, which basically means I’d need to do it every two weeks or, so because of wait times (they don’t answer the phone) — basically I’d need to contact the CRBs weekly, with compiled evidence to their satisfaction
  • a renewal must include evidence of why I’m renewing, and won’t be accepted unless there is evidence of a good reason to have the ban
  • because whoever is applying for credit in my name is not predictable, I can’t possibly know when they’ll do it, thus ANZ implies I’d need to keep the ban up permanently (yet for aforementioned reasons, that’s a huge burden)
  • even if I could keep the ban up permanently, a ban blocks me from legitimately accessing credit that I need to run my life and business (i.e. things as simple as changing phone plans, power, internet, and so on).

Thus, I argue that ANZs suggestion that my placing bans on my files with CRBs is an untenable solution, and ANZ should instead act to fix the problem on their end and prevent it from happening. AFCA has previously upheld that ANZs suggestion of a ban on my credit files is appropriate.

I strongly disagree, both for the above, and many other reasons.

Separately, one of the times it happened, ANZ sent me PDFs from their internal system, showing the application in that case was coming from a likely Tor exit node.

This suggests that can stop this on their end by blocking credit applications from Tor, at the very least.

While I haven’t seen the internal imagery from all the applications (I only have what they’ve sent me), you can see verifiably dodgy IPs in some of them, for example this IP (which their system also marked as “CLEAR”):

Fucking idiots

Here’s a snippet where they thought I worked at something called “Beautiful People Inc”:

fuck fuck fuck

Or even that I worked at ANZ (I obviously have never worked at ANZ):

what is wrong with these people

And was signing up while at MIT (?):

ah yes, MIT

All were marked “CLEAR”, incredibly.

I also have a feeling that ANZ might be in violation of the Privacy Act, perhaps in s 21Q an s 21R, which relate to their requirements to ensure the quality of credit eligibility information before they forward it to a CRB, which they are clearly not doing. Also, perhaps, the ASIC act.

On top of this, ANZs meddling with my credit file has lowered my credit score from extremely high to… not extremely high, and this together with the polluted and fake information has meant I’ve actually been unable to renew my phone plans, and do other things, independent of the limitations placed upon me during CRB ban periods. This has been deeply impactful to my wife and I, as well as my small business.

Also, once their CEO maybe, possibly, seems to have threatened me on Twitter:

And also claimed it was all sorted out in 2018:

Suggestions welcome: first name AT first name DOT id DOT au